"Calma, calma, que no panda el cunico,"

says El Chapulin Colorado--arguably, the best Mexican superhero ever. The closest phrase I can think of in translation is "don't panic." It's what we hear during a nervous breakdown. Which makes sense cause when you think about it, people panic because they're scarred. It's fear of the unknown. Fear paralyzes. I feel paralyzed at home. Not necessarily paralyzed but helpless to a daily situation that has been ailing me for years. It's between a couple. They are a pair that doesn't match. This is evident to me almost everyday of my life. How can it not, I live with them. I see how one of them makes life a living hell for the other. I can help end this cycle by suggesting a way out. And so my moral dilemma is whether or not to participate. From a psychological standpoint, this is devastating for me because I've seen this couple together all my life. I don't know how life would be for me without the two together. I've never fully cut the umbilical cord. I am afraid of what's going to happen when they split. Roles will be reversed. Which will be mine? (sigh) I'm not sure yet.

relationships+balance=?

It's easy to forget who you are when you're in a relationship. You get so fixated on the other person you forget your daily routine. You forget about doing your laundry, about your job, about your debt, about all those things that make up your life. You get so consumed in the other person. I get scared when I recognize it. Cause I notice that I forget about the world. I'm not sad or mad. The things that had been bothering me before all of a sudden disapear when I'm with that other person. And when I leave that person and enter the other world alone, I enter it peacefully, with a new set of eyes. But at the same time, I enter it preoccupied with the other person. So it's a constant back and forth pull. Which leads me to believe that relationships are hard work, especially for me because I suck at balancing. I always sway too much to one side. I never stay in one spot. I move around alot (my RLS, short attention span, and the fact that I suck at yoga balancing poses is proof). I know that the middle ground is balance. But how do I balance?